Oct 17, 2020

Get a Grip

Everything is going so well.

You’re believing and achieving, then something happens - a trigger, issues pile up on you causing a sense of overwhelm, anger, or fear.

You revert back to old habits and find yourself feeling apathetic, questioning, and in a negative state. Time is lost and in the worst of cases, you fall off the wagon.

It’s a downward spiral only you can get yourself out of, but how and when?


Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Self-sabotage occurs when we get in our own way of achieving our goals.

It’s our internal battle between the conscious and subconscious mind. We ultimately know what we want to achieve, yet our subconscious protects us from pain and fear.

Reasons for self-sabotage include:

  • Lacking self-confidence or self-worth - you doubt yourself and/or don’t feel ready to take the next step
  • Feeling a need to be in control - by reverting to familiar habits; often comfortable where you’re empowered
  • Shifting blame to someone or something else - you’re playing a single-player game and have no one to blame but yourself

Ways to recognise triggers:

  • Procrastination
  • Negative self-talk or thinking
  • Giving up too easily and a lack of self-discipline


Photo by Jakub Gorajek on Unsplash
“Anything in life worth having is worth working for” - Andrew Carnegie

Take action to get back on track by getting clear and writing down:

  • Regular negative emotions or triggers - what sets you off, why and what do those moods make you feel like being/doing?
  • Understanding the reasons you’ve self-sabotaged - either now or in the past and recognise what it cost you. How can you avoid it next time? What outcome are you really after?
  • Replacing your destructive patterns with better thoughts or actions - maybe a healthy alternative or activity.
  • Reviewing goals and plan of attack - create small wins and focus on one thing at a time until you’re able to do more.
  • Believing in yourself - accepting you will make mistakes and have setbacks.


No one said this would be easy.

Even if you screw up big time only to realise what you’ve done, don’t let that defeat you.

The important thing is to not wallow in a negative state. Pick yourself up, get over it and keep moving forward.

Overcoming these hurdles in life build character and help you discover your true potential.

Never give up.

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