Single Life

May 15, 2021

Me, Myself, and I

I ended a chapter in my life the other day.

It began with someone, in times past, when circumstances were different.

Rekindled late April two years ago, initiating a period of short, but significant relationships in my life.

Each would reflect something I needed to develop within myself - a behaviour, trait or mindset.

The chapter ended with whom it began.

Our final encounter, a text making it clear we were done.

Things usually don’t end well.

All you can do is keep moving forward and know the right person will come when the time is right.

I won’t remain in contact with these individuals but am grateful for the lessons learned to make me the man I am today.

I start this next chapter with the important people in my life and a clean slate.

I have a dear friend - we go way back.

She’s more gracious and diplomatic than I and never one to close the door on people.

Fun and easy-going, popular to the point she’s always got goss to keep conversation lively every time we catch up. A great friend I’ve shared many great memories with.

There are those who mistreat her, take her for granted, but she accepts each relationship for what it is and will always have those people in her life.

I’m a take it or leave it kinda guy. I have fewer friends, but maintain close bonds with and value each relationship. I’ll let go of people if they’re not holding up their end or do wrong by me.

We’re all different, there’s no right or wrong. Do what works for you.

Whilst I’m of the belief that:

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime,”‌‌

I don’t always get it right.

But that’s life.

Table for One

Wedding Day Reception Decoration 1
Photo by Photos by Lanty / Unsplash
“Single is not a status. It’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”

Marriage ain’t what it used to be, and the outlook ain’t improving.

Whatever age, stage or status in life, ponder this:

If you had to live on your own, how would you manage?

Long term?

For some, it’s ops normal.

For others, it’s looking at black and white photos in an album.

But for those who still hold onto the vow, “Until death do us part”, the game never ends.

Yes, you’re building a life with someone, but happiness and success now lie equally upon both your shoulders.

Better hope you’ve picked the right partner.

It’s a bit different being single.

Between work and play lie periods of boredom and loneliness.

Sure, there are some advantages.

Like the time I was craving a burger, twenty to midnight, in my hotel room in Amsterdam.

No negotiation.

No “What should I wear?”

I was dressed and out the door in two minutes.

The hardest part about being single?

Knowing what life’s like on the other side.

Having a connection, a partner.

Being spoken for.

It’s human nature to desire companionship.

But despite all the memories I look back on through rose-coloured glasses, one thing’s for sure:

It’s far easier being single than being with the wrong person.

You’re free of constraints, arguments, drama.

Relationships at their worst can be a total mind fuck.

When you’re single you can do things on a whim, get what you want out of life and truly know who you are. You’ll tackle things head-on because there’s no one else to do it for or with you.

Not all find it easy.

Some jump from partner to partner in search of happiness and fulfilment when they themselves are not whole.

Happiness falls on you. In your day to day, in your life.

Wholeness equally comes from within.

Each of our paths differ and you play the cards you’ve been dealt.

But single or otherwise, it’s about working on your inner game - to be at more peace with the world, with others, with yourself.

To find joy in this life.

The only person required is you.

No one else.

Are You Feeling Lucky?

Photo by Jonathan Petersson / Unsplash

It can get messy when things don’t work out.

Real messy.

An encounter with Family Law can be a painful one.

It can bring out the worst in both of you; the ordeal something you wouldn’t want to relive again.

And is the furthest thing from your mind when you’re head over heels about someone.

Often blinded by love, many fail to consider the gravity of what (and who) they’re committing to.

The rest of your life with a complete stranger.

Or maybe you don’t think that far ahead.

Some knew they weren’t 100% right for each other, didn’t give the relationship enough time to see their true colours.

For others, it’s a bit more complicated.

An unexpected pregnancy, an arranged marriage, growing apart.

You’re not the same person you were a year ago. Imagine years of growing apart from your significant other, only now you’ve got kids in tow.

Your best chance of success ultimately lies within - being happy with who you are as an individual; being whole and not looking for someone to complete you.

Give the relationship enough time, ask the right questions.

Listen to the advice of others before making an informed decision, never a hasty one.

And whatever happens, learn the lessons life teaches you so the same mistakes are not made twice.


“Happiness is not out there. It’s within you.”

For those who remain in committed relationships, congratulations. Keep going.

The bond you share with someone special many of us desire, so be grateful and never take it for granted.

And for those who find themselves again being single, don’t despair. This is part of your journey.

There’s growth and re-building; the parts of yourself lost in the relationship, the lessons you need to learn.

Take as long as you need, there’s no rush.

You’ve got the rest of your life to make things happen.

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